These are sooo not my breasts but you can get them courtesy of Victoria's Secret.I wish I didn't have boobs. Yep. You heard me. I'm barely an A-Cup and I wish I didn't have the little that I got. I want to get rid of my breasts all together. I'm guessing most of you who follow my blob (again, not a typo) know why.
You know that breast cancer claimed my mother's life but it also has taken its toll on her two sisters and countless others that I've come to know and love. I've also had two scares myself.
My biopsies were five years apart. The first lump found by my doctor required a biopsy after an ultrasound determined it was indeed a solid mass. It came back benign and I completely blew it off. That was before my Mom or aunts were diagnosed.
About this time last year I found a lump in the same breast. This lump required surgery instead of a needle biopsy like last time. Thankfully it again came back benign but I was counseled that the results indicated that this type of mass is more likely to turn into breast cancer. I'm not exactly sure how they determine that in pathology, but that's what I was told.
Again, this was last summer. So it was before my Mom's breast cancer had returned. With her sister also having breast cancer, Mom was nervous she had passed something down to me. She completed genetic testing and results came back negative for the BRCA gene. We celebrated those results.
Just a few months later however, another one of her sisters was diagnosed. In fact my aunt finished her final radiation treatment just days before my Mom passed away.
While getting the result of my second biopsy, I asked the surgeon if they could complete a double mastectomy to reduce my chances of developing breast cancer. He felt is was too drastic and we left it at that. Again, this was before my Mom's cancer had come back and before my third aunt was diagnosed.
I wish I would have pushed it further then. I feel like I'm just waiting for my turn. Although my Mom tested negative for the BRCA gene, with three sisters all having breast cancer, there is no doubt in my mind that there is a genetic link that has not yet been discovered. I likely have that genetic link.
The thing is, I couldn't care less if I have breasts or not anyway. I'm barely an A cup and having breasts has never been part of who I was. Perhaps if I had larger breasts and somehow linked that to my femininity I may feel differently. But the fact is I don't. So I would just as soon get rid of what I do have if it lessens my chances of developing breast cancer. I know it can still develop in the wall behind the breast but I want to explore this further. I am seriously considering this even if I have to save up for years to do it out of pocket as I'm sure insurance wouldn't cover it.
But I am curious. Do you think it's too drastic? Do you think if you were in my shoes you would want to explore this too?
Sometimes I think I may be going a bit overboard. And I do believe we may find a cure in my lifetime, but this occupies my thoughts. A lot. And so I thought I would share it with all of you.
Hmmm..I don't know what I would do in your shoes. I have a close friend who is considering getting that done as well and she has been advised to by her doctor I guess because of that linking gene. Her mother has had 8 bouts with breast cancer. I can't even imagine how it would feel to be in either of your positions. Part of me thinks I would do it. If it meant I could be even a percentage more sure that I would be less likely to get breast cancer. Hard decision though for sure!
ReplyDeleteMy mom also tested negative for the BRCA gene, but since both my grandmother had bc, my mom was first diagnosed when she was 40, and I was diagnosed when I was 27, the genetic counselor writes in her report that it is possible that we have a brca gene that they haven't discovered yet.
ReplyDeleteI don't think investigating a double mastectomy is too drastic, but you should also investigate some other preventative measures, too. Depending on the type of tumor your mom had, you may be able to take a hormone reducing medication like Tamoxifen to reduce your risk. I took Tamoxifen for five years, and the side effects suck, but perhaps that is another possibility. Take your time and talk to your doctors! You may even want to consult with an oncologist. I hope this helps! :)
Gosh. It makes me angry that so many of the women in your family have had to worry about breast cancer. I always said that if I had breast cancer and they removed one of mine I would make them take the other....so.....I kind of see where you are coming from. I think if I were you I would retake the test to make sure you don't have the gene. Since you are small sometimes mammograms are harder to read. I would also get a second or a third opinion.
ReplyDeleteI had no family history when I had cancer. Then my Mom was diagnosed with chronic leukemia.
Not a big problem but last year she had a kidney removed because of cancer. My aunt died two days before her surgery from lymphoma.
Wish I could just reach through this screen and give you a big ((((HUG))))
Carrie: Yes. My understanding was that studies have indicated it could lessen my chances by 95%.
ReplyDeleteSara: That's how I feel too. Even if it could reduce my chances by a much smaller margin of 95% it seems worth it to me.
Ginny: My mom's tumor was ER/PR+. She was on both (not at the same time) Tamoxifen and Arimidex which unfortunately didn't work for her but you're right. I should explore that too. I think you're right about getting more input from my Mom's oncologist and not just my breast surgeon too. Thank you for your guidance.
Debby: Yes, unfortunately breast cancer has hit my family hard. I'm so sorry that cancer has been a heavy hitter in your family as well. I will take your recommendation to seek out another opinion. I think if I can talk to my Mom's oncologist in addition to mine who did the testing and any other for that matter that I feel necessary, I will be making an more informed decision.
Honestly B? I think I would feel the same way. I'm a bit different than you because I do actually love my breasts (what can I say - I have good breasts), but they in no way define me and if it was a question of having my breasts or having my life? Give me my life any day. And while you're at it, give me a life I don't have to live in fear of losing every day.
ReplyDeleteOnly you can decide what is right for you in this situation, btu I don't think it's too drastic at all. I think you are following your heart, and relying on a fear that is completely understandable given what you have seen in your family.
You'll make the right decision lady. Whatever that is, you'll figure out what is best for you...
Actress Christina Applegate tested positive for the BRCA1 breast cancer gene and she had both breasts removed. When I heard about that I truly didn't think twice about her decision being drastic. I though it was a good idea! As your blob friend I will support whatever decision you make :)
ReplyDeleteOne of my best friends just had a full hysterectomy and is going to undergo a full mastectomy because she tested positive for the BRCA gene. She does not feel it is too drastic of a move, and neither do I. As a single mom she wants to be there to parent her daughter!!! She is an adoptive mama, too, so she said she didn't need her girl parts, anyway :-) She just lost her favorite aunt to cancer and it runs rampant in her family. I'm sure she would LOVE to be in touch with you if you want to talk to her about it!!! I have told her time and time again that I think she made the right decision...I truly do.
ReplyDeleteMy mom had ovarian cancer, her mom breast along with her sisters either having breast or ovarian...so no I do not think its to drastic at all. Boobs are NOT worth your peace of mind!
ReplyDeleteGood luck, Kim
There is nothing drastic about your wanting to do whatever possible to avoid the "beast". I have been working on a post on my decision to remove both breasts. I have not finished it yet but hope you will read it when it's up. I was the first person in my family diagnosed and didn't even consider having both removed at the time. I opted for a lumpectomy and chemo and radiation. Six years later - I changed my mind and wanted to do more. I never want this beast to return. I watched my best friend lose her battle with it and just couldn't bear to "not" to everything I could do prevent it from returning. My Oncologist is very pro-active with women at high risk. That is definetely an avenue you should expore. Most surgeons won't consider it until they know you are completely serious.
ReplyDeleteI had reconstruction at the same time and don't regret it for a moment. You know best what you need to do for your emotional well being. My insurance covered it all.
I am onboard with you. Please let me know want to talk about it.
I say just do it. What else to you have to loss? And if it gives you peace of mind then it is worth it. If I were faced with the same situation then I would go for it!
ReplyDeleteI have stage 4 colon cancer. Right now, I'm okay. But I always have to worry about it coming back. From my perspective, no, not drastic at all.
ReplyDeleteI think you are doing the right thing by talking to your Mom's oncologist. Explain everything to him/her. Family history, Sister's (Aunt's) with breast cancer, your lumps that you have found. Even get the Dr.'s reports and biopsies and take them to the oncologist. I have had two biopsies myself, once needle biopsied and one lump was removed. I lost my Grandmother (my Mom's Mom) to "female" cancer when she was only 52, my age now. It was in 1963, I was 5. Back then they didn't say words like uterus, cervix, ovarian, etc. I cannot talk to my Grandmother or her Dr., but if I could, I would. All of the women on my Mom's side of the family that are my age or older have had hysterectomies due to excessive bleeding. I could have had it done a couple of years ago because I had the same bleeding, but I didn't. I'm wondering if it's genetic and if I should have done it when I had the chance. Who knows....Cindy
ReplyDeleteThank you all so much for your comments and support. It really does mean a lot to feel understood as to why I would want to explore this and not be judged. I will keep you informed as I move forward.
ReplyDelete