Answered and Unanswered Prayers

Hmmm....where do I begin? My absence is largely explained by bringing my father back to the ER after the first visit mentioned here. This visit was nine hours of watching my Dad in pain, bleeding out, disorientated and scared.

It took nine hours for the surgeons, doctors and nurses to determine what was going on and admit him to the hospital. The same hospital my Mom died in exactly six months ago today.

I kept it together until they took my Dad out of the room for various scans. Then, I promptly fell apart.

A few hours later, he was admitted to the hospital.

When he was finally in his room I sat on the window seal motionless staring at him and all of the IVs, machines, charts and meters.

"Not again." I thought. "Please, not again."

Doctors came and went, visiting hours were over and it was soon time to go home. I felt terrible leaving him.

On my way out, I stopped my Dad's night nurse and asked her to please pay special attention to my Dad. "Please don't let him be sad." I asked after explaining to her that he had just lost his wife of forty years in this very hospital months earlier. "Please." I asked one more time with tears falling faster than I could wipe them away.

Nearly 14 hours after the start of all this I was home. I made my way into my bedroom, closed the door quietly and fell to my knees. I cried and I cried and I cried. When what seemed like both minutes and hours passing at the same time, still on my knees, I began to pray.

"Please God. This time answer my prayers. Please."

I'm not sure I'm strong enough to watch my Dad struggle. Watching my Mom fight for her life and ultimately losing that battle took too big of toll on me. On all of us.

Prayers were answered this time. Thank you God. Thank you so much.

After some time in the hospital and the right interventions, all of the organs that had shut down were now responding to treatment. My Dad was on his way to recovery.

My Godfather is on the right in the white shirt and my Dad is on the left.

Yesterday Dad was well enough to go to church. After church we went to see my Godfather. My Godfather is such an amazing man and I love him very much.

I think I may have mentioned in this post here that I lost my Godmother to cancer a couple of years ago. Unfortunately I learned yesterday just how little time I have left with my Godfather. His time here on earth is very limited and I am forced to once again try and prepare myself for another goodbye.

I'm so sad thinking about it. I try to remember though that he will be together with my Godmother once again. They were married for 62 years. What a glorious day that will be in heaven and the thought of that reunion makes me happy.

For now I'm just giving myself permission to feel what I feel and take each day as it comes.

But I need to make some changes.

Life is too short and I've had more than my share of reminders the past six months. I'm committed to making some life changes and hope to be sharing those with you soon.

As always, I want to thank you all for your friendship. And if you have a prayer available, please say one for my Godfather and my Dad. I would really appreciate it.