I Am Broken

I’m coming clean on my blob this week in the hope that I can start moving my life in a more positive direction for myself, my son and everyone I love.

If you follow my blob you already know I struggle with the loss of my Mom to cancer a few months ago. Its been six months to be exact. I wonder if people think that’s long enough and I should be “over it”. Or I wonder if those that have been on the same journey look at me and just pray knowing I’ve got a bit of a battle still to forge.

I can tell you that sometimes I think I should be further along in my healing than I am. I still cry every day. Not all day long, but every single day. And I hide those tears from everyone. I cry alone, every day. Why? I don’t know. Are there people I could call? Yes. Am I comfortable doing that? No. Why? I don’t know.

I do know is that losing a parent is painful, heartbreaking, life changing and leveling. I can’t just “snap out of it”. I don’t know how and quite frankly don’t think it’s healthy to move forward without working through things the way that I need to to truly heal.

Losing a parent is sad. Losing a parent is depressing.

Losing my Mom has changed who I am.

But to be completely honest, I was broken before my Mom died. Not as broken as I am now, but broken just the same.

I will share more tomorrow.